when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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