Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
