Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
