I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this boner is exhausting
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
