Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
