I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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