i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
