why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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