Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
