Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
