woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
