bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
