and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
