My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
