Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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