thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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