Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
