Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I CAN MOONWALK!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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