some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
