highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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