so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
