ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
