Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
