Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
