Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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