whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
