In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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