we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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