garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
pray to the hookup gods
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
