you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
