I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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