I need help removing her.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
