Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
