You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
