You really coming over, don't trick.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
