Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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