how can u be prego again
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
