i just wanna soil my oats bro
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
