you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
