He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
