I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
