Can i not drive my cunt home
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
