well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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