after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
and you fell through a lawn chair
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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