Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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