What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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