so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Even my vagina gasped.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
