so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
