Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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