Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
