He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
