According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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