I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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