oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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